Men and women are different. As we all know the physical differences have been noted and appreciated by all.
But what people fail to understand is that the male and female of the human species are “wired” differently. They do not think, speak or act the same way in response to the same stimuli. Men and women send, receive and process information differently because they view the world through different mental and emotional filters. Men and women can look at the same thing and see completely different aspects. They can be exposed to the same information and draw totally dissimilar conclusion. They can examine the same data and yet be poles apart in how they interpret that data. Those fundamental differences in the way men and women think and act lies at the heart of much of the conflict, confusion and misunderstanding that has occurred between the sexes for years. Communication problems between men and women are common place.
As with anything else, knowledge can get rid of the confusion where male/female relations are concerned. Understanding how men and women are different is important in improving their communication and relationship at every level. This knowledge is very important for both married and unmarried couple for their future happiness and success.
A man is a logical thinker while a woman is an emotional feeler.
A man thinks in an organised, reasoned and orderly manner. A man’s mind processes and evaluates information in a precise and predictable pattern. In general men look for the facts and act accordingly. Women are emotional. They approach issues more from feelings than from reason. Being emotionally centered is neither better nor worse than being logical. It is just different. A man leads with his mind while a woman leads with her heart. Logic and emotion complement each other very well. What kind of world would this be if everyone was exclusively logical? Life would be empty with no passion and no art. At the same time, emotion without logic would result in life without order. Both logic and emotion are necessary, not only for fulfillment but for survival. This reveals the brilliance of God’s design.
A woman says what is on her heart while a man says what is on his mind
For a woman, language spoken is an expression of what she is feeling. For a man, language spoken is an expression of what he is thinking. Women are emotional feelers and their spoken words need to be understood from that frame of reference. Men are logical and their words often do not adequately express their true feelings. Both may have similar thoughts or feelings but will express them in different ways unless they understand this difference, a married couple will experience communication problems.
Language that is heard by a woman is an emotional experience, language that is heard by a man is the receiving of information.
When a woman speaks, although she may be expressing what she feels, a man will usually hear it as information, often on an impersonal level. When a man speaks, even if he is simply saying what is on his mind, a woman will usually receive his words at a much deeper personal and emotional level.
Hearing is not the same as understanding. What one person says may not be what the other hears. That is why communication is such an art. Husbands need to remember that every word they say will be received by their wives as an emotional experience. Wives need to keep in mind that every word they say will be received by their husbands as information. In order to understand each other better, husbands and wives both should learn to think in terms of how the other receives and interprets their words and speak accordingly.
Women tend to take everything personal, men tend to take everything impersonal
For example a husband tells a wife, “My dear, I don’t like the way your hair looks today.” He is imparting information and even though he says today, the wife interprets it emotionally and becomes angry and hurt. She rushes off to the hair dresser and get a new cut or a new style and all the while the husband is wondering why she is making such a big deal of the whole thing. It is because she took it personally. Because women tend to take everything personally, men need to learn to be careful what they say to women and how they say it. A woman will remember an irritating action or an offhand comment for years. On the other hand, because men take things impersonally, women must be careful in how they interpret men’s response to what they say. Just because a man does not react emotionally in the same way as a woman does not mean that he has no feelings or that he does not care. He is looking for information and trying to determine an appropriate way to respond.
Women are interested in details, men are interested in the principle or the abstract or the philosophy
The wife asks the husband, “how was your day?” and he answers, “fine.” That is not the kind of answer the wife was looking for. She wants to hear the step-by-step, details of his day. She is not trying to pry. That is just the way she thinks. The husband’s simple response reflects the way he thinks. “I had a good day. It was great, now let us move on to something else”
Leaders need to think in principles and concepts. Managers and company Presidents do not have time to focus on the details. Their responsibility is to consider the principles, the philosophy of where the company is going and to determine goals. A leader sets the vision and direction and those under the leader work out the details to accomplish the vision. Under God’s design for the home, the husband sets the vision and direction that is his gift and role. The wife is gifted to know how to bring the vision to fruition-the details. Together it is a powerful combination. (to be continued next week).
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