Hats off for a zeal,
Jashan Saini speak its deal,
world before eyes unveil,
Even inspirations start to kneel.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice but falling in love with you was beyond my control. When I said you I love you, it was a game changer because I don’t hand over these three magic words to passing fancy. I love you soo much. I don’t think I could have went on much longer with out you. I dreamed about you. I talked about you and I will always love you even if it isn’t in my favor. You were everything to me and you were a big part of what kept me motivated. See, I still think you don’t even know how much you “effected” my life. “Effected” puts it too lightly because you came like a tornado and ripped through each and every thing leaving only destruction.
I blame only myself for putting all into you. It is so exhausting that I feel worthless and empty. I blame myself for all the mess. I should not have put my faith into virtual love and also should have happily accepted your proposal of breaking up when you had told me that we hadn’t any future and couldn’t be together.
I don’t seem to be a nice guy. I am not a nice guy at all. I always say it becasue of not growing up in my home. I am confused on who I really am. The truth is I have no idea. You gave me some idea about myself. I really believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You carried me from darkness to enlightenment. It won’t possible to thank you with worldly words. For you transformed my persona. You carried me from shyness into the world of boldness. You took my insomnia for some time but it must have occurred to you from my recent untimely texts that my old self has been restored.
I miss you. Not in some cheesy, let’s hold hands and be together forever kind of way. I just miss you plain and simple. I miss your presence in my life. I miss my virtual friend. I promise, there hasn’t been a day that I stopped wanting you and you haven’t gotten out of my head since I first fell for you. It is that true love leaves a memory no one can steal and a heart ache no one can heal. I just wanted you, that is all. All your flaws, mistakes, giggles, jokes, sarcasm, everything. I just wanted you.
My days never passed well without talking to you in the morning or seeing your pics. I was used to it but now I think that it was obsession and I must forget the habit. What I had with you, I don’t want with anyone else.
All I will reveal about the “us” part of relationship is that it was wonderful as could have been and I don’t regret a thing. Please know I cherish our good memories and I hope you will find your whirlwind romance and someone to kiss you when your nose is stuffed and your eyes are swollen with tears. I hope you will find someone who will wake up with you every morning and see your wrinkling face and grey hair but still fall for you, who will give you a relationship that everyone will be jealous of.
I know I have hurt you many a times by hurling bad comments and words. I tell you that I never really meant them. They never came from the indepth of my heart. I am sorry for all that and seek your forgiveness. One thing that will hang around my neck like an albatross is the blunder of breaching your privacy and illegally logging in your facebook account. I apologies for the same. I regret this.
Now you have found your love , my contact with you should remain little. I have given you so many headaches in the past and now don’t want to give you anymore. You seem to get depress by my actions. I don’t want to land you in more trouble. Thank you for being part of my path and thank you for allowing me to love you.
The author is student Saiyyid Hamid Senior Secondary School,
Aligarh Muslim University &
Global Teen Ambassador Milkyway YOuth Foundation.
He can be reached at: [email protected]